Thanks for Nothing

(Re: Dateline NBC broadcasts - early Novemeber 2012 - around the time of my birthday.) I need you all to know something important. As long as I'm like this, you can not trust the media. For twenty years the media, especially the American media, told you to trust liars. That makes the media liars. But will they spend the next twenty years telling you to trust me? It looks like they planned to sweep their lies under a carpet of more lies on a Dateline special. Did they talk to my little brother on Dateline? Did they apologize to him for telling him to trust Saturday Night Live instead of his own kin? No? They wanted him to talk instead about how life has been so hard for him with such a big bad brother on the loose, writing songs and writing laughs? Did they sprinkle a little high end piano in the background for effect? I'm told that he liked it when everyone thought that he was the talented one in the family. He owes that to the media. But I hope everyone knows that he didn't write my poems. Did you all think that Dateline NBC was on my side for busting those stars? They didn't do it to make me great, they did it to steal my thunder, just like that roadie band did when they recorded Nonplussed. They did it to make me look weak and helpless because this would drive away fans of my rock. They did it to make themselves great by using the sensation of a celebrity scandal to boost their ratings. They did it to make me look like I had compromised my position for their help because they know that I will accept no such compromise. They did it to confuse their gullible viewers about who were the victims and who were the culprits in this crime. And they had a personal score to settle with certain stars who they feel shouldn't poke so much fun at the media. I think it's wrong to use my authority for that because I poke fun at the media all the time. Why not? They're a joke. I didn't need the big strong Dateline girls to protect me. They had to do something because they knew I wasn't going away. But by not letting me in on their plan, I think they proved their cowardice. Did they tell you I was the chicken? I would have been happy to go on Dateline with a lawyer watching. They didn't invite me. The biggest joke about the media is that they don't know anything. If they knew anything, they would have been on my side from the outset. And the reason why I know things that they don't know is because I steer clear of them. The less information you get from the media, the more you know. And don't be too angry with those girls that didn't want to be with me. At the time NBC interviewed them they were led along with the rest of the population to believe that I had plagiarized my writing from television. Dateline probably lured them onto the show by telling them that they would preside over my public demise. No one was busted yet. What better way to make me look unattractive and to make it look like life for a groupie is better with a band of industry ass kissers? You'd be well informed to know that the 'C' in NBC stands for CORPORATION. And anyone on their payroll belongs to a private concern, usually a different concern than those which only come to light at election time. Have they apologized to you? No? But I still hear the odd voice telling me that I stole the laughs. No, I lived and shared those laughs. They stole them. You're all comfortable with this kind of treatment? I hope not. Expect some kind of harebrained, loudmouthed retort to this on your television. I'll return tomorrow to prove that it's all true.
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