Cancel Your Cable

I think that there has been more lying and cheating and backstabbing in the attempt to deprive me of the rights to my work than was used in the last four U.S. elections combined. And I'm not a conservative, but we'll need more prisons for all these copyright violators and their accessories, which brings me to my main point. It's come to my attention that lawyers have taken some of the blame for my misfortune. (My note to the prime minister pointed to the legal system, not to individuals.) Why do you suppose that this has happened at a time when I rely heavily on legal support? You see how my adversaries fight against truth and justice? And they never give up. As long as my lawyers are waging an effective strategy, they're 'culpable'. Then if I try to say that they are helping me, that makes my lawyers heroes and me their sad dependent. The problem here is not the lawyers. I wouldn't need lawyers if NBC/FOX/Comedy Central/etc wasn't so heavily in the wrong. They steal all my comedy, cash it in, and wait for the crowd to finish me off. Then when I stage a musical comeback, they feature it on Dateline as though it were a scandal. Great. Now every jerk with a guitar thinks he'll have groupies if he steals my music. This inhibits the production of my new songs. My new songs are further discouraged by my old blogs as trusting TV viewers attack me for thinking I am robbing their favourite shows, thanks to broadcasting corporations which scooped my original posts and paid themselves for it out of the belief (and hope) that I would never relive and rewrite them. I often wish I hadn't. If I authored a hit, I shouldn't have to stay at a homeless shelter. If everyone knows I authored it and that they thanked a band for stealing it from me and for using it to make my life Hell, maybe it's time they released their minds from television's evil influence.
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